Where do I even start on this! We have all been affected by this crazy pandemic. There are so many things to navigate as a mom, let alone when the world can be scary and feels out of control.
Obviously, even as a crazy wild & strong Italian woman, I knew I would be emotionally impacted because of this whole thing. I am human and accepted that. I remember saying to my own mom, "I feel like I won't feel the gratitude of this until it is over." What I meant by that was not that I didn't feel how big it was and had no fears. SHIT girl, at the height of it, I was terrified, especially because my husband has Sarcoid (an autoimmune disease of the lungs) and my daughter has asthma. Just a lil virus can put her in the hospital, and at the very least - hopped up on steroids and LOTS of long nights awake for all of us. So I felt it bigtime! We isolated more than others. I got shit from a friend one day, "You gotta live!" Well yea, but I wanted my husband and kid to live, too...so we waited until we were all fully vaccinated and watched the numbers closely.
Me making the pandemic fun
(and a lil white trashy!)
I knew coming out of it would make me realize how much I had been missing, and I knew that would hit me hard, too. I coped well! I am a life coach...I was in therapy since I was 14, I have all of the tools and have done so much healing in this life, and know how to make it full of fun and purpose. That didn't mean I was thriving like the old me thrived. I hands down lost a piece of myself in all of this. I made it my #1 job to make life not seem like a pandemic for my daughter. I think I did an ok job, she said she had a blast the past 2 years!?! But it did not come at no cost. Was it worth it? Always. Sure, I found ways to fill my own cup and had fun and self-care time, tried to continue to build my business. But it was still hard. So I let myself cry once in a while to 'feel' what I had to feel. Then I do what I do best. I got up and kept walking...ok running. This girl does nothing slow but meditate.
A lot of us have had false hope, the last couple of years. We have gotten back up, started stepping into hope and got knocked down. Whether by a new variant or if you are on the other end of the spectrum, feeling like you were getting all of your freedoms taken away. Nobody got out of this scott-free. BTW what does that even mean? Who the hell is scott and is he really free? I digress...we all lost something. Whether it was hope, a sense of freedom, or even worse, people in our lives. I myself lost a friend and could not even attend his funeral. It has sucked for everyone. But we walked on...we did what we had to do for our families and comfort levels. And now the numbers are going back down and most people (in my area) are vaxxed. Is freedom coming?
This past Friday, aka 'fug it Friday' I decided we would play hookey from school and work and go eat at our favorite restaurant that we had not been to in 2 years because between timing/variants/no vaccines yet, it didn't work out. We sat down, ordered our meals and I got to stare at my daughter's smile as she was as giddy as I was anticipating our fav tex mex! I have not had caffiene in 6 years, but ordered a coke, clearly flailing my "I am kind of free" cape at the world. I chomped on my delicious chicken tacos, and took a sip of the best damn coke I have ever tasted. I dunno if it was some magical recipe or tasted like a little piece of me was coming back, but I TEAR DROPPED! Right into my cup. It isn't the first time I have cried over tacos and coke and definitely won't be my last.
I know we have all had a version of tear dropping into tacos. Some of us are getting up faster than others, but many of us are seeing this turning into an endempic and maybe feeling a little more like pre-pandemic you. Hopeful. Strong. More alive! Pre or during or post pandemic, we will stay strong and know that anytime we get knocked down, we will get back up. We are fierce a$$ mamas!
This time has not been for the faint of heart. But mamas are strong. We are mighty. And we have eachother. #fiercemamasquad
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Be Fiercely You, Christy Jade